Oh, Granny!

My Grandma would not approve of me putting this picture on the World Wide Web for all to see. She would hate the fact that she doesn't have any make up on and her hair isn't just perfect. But, unfortunately, Grandma can't yell at me, nor will she ever see it. She won't ever see it because she died yesterday.

What I love about this picture is that Granny has such a happy look on her face holding LJ. It's similar to the look on her face yesterday when all the machines and tubes were removed and we sat holding her hands, fixing her hair, and urging her that it was okay to go. The previous 48 hours, not to mention years plagued with health concerns, were absolutely traumatizing to her body, but thankfully it was during that final breathe were she looked at peace.

I wasn't ready to say good-bye to my Grandma. I've been walking around the last few days just saying, "Oh, Granny" because I don't know what else to say, or think or do. I inherited my love of shoes, shopping and going out to eat from her. I spent numerous days as a kid looking through her make up drawers (yes, I said drawers) and being her gopher while we cleaned her house. I loved visiting her this summer with LJ. He would squirm around on the floor, while she offered me gluten-free snacks and we chatted about her past or current events. And for the last three years, every time I would go over there she would point to the Patrick Swayze memoir on the coffee table and say, "I keep trying to read a book, Stacy. I just keep falling asleep." It was as if she had to confess to the English teacher she didn't do her homework. No, no...I was not ready to say good bye to my Grandma.

But I did. I held her hand as she took her final breathe and said good bye. Oh, Granny!